With a Heavy Heart.

I have been having a really hard time trying to figure out what direction to take this blog post in because I know what I want to talk about but ...
I will just keep it short and sweet.

Everyone has a person that challenged them in high school. A Bully, if you will..
When I look back on my memories I think of two people that were on the top of that list.
One, in my grade, I got the chance to see a couple years out of high school. I went back to my hometown and was in a cafe that I was eating at with a friend. He came out.. acting very happy to see me, hugged me and asked how I had been doing. It really took me off guard. At that point I held no ill will for him because we all have issues.

Fast forward to a couple years after that I attended a small get together of fellow classmates. (My graduating class was 32.. so when more than two of us get together it is a big deal :) ) This person was there again. It was very apparent from the previous time I had seen him and this current time that life had handed him a few difficult situation but he really seemed to be putting things back together. I was able to talk with him like and adult, hear how he was doing, and realized that he is just a person and High School was High School.

One Year later, to the week he died. He took his own life. I felt horrible. I was so happy I had the chance to see a good side of him and let that situation pass.. but let me tell you.. having a class reunion over a death is not a fun situation in the least.

Today I received a call. From the person that pretty much keeps in touch with everyone.
Another schoolmate.. dead. He was not in my class... but our school was so small that it really didn't matter. Everyone knew everyone else. Good and bad, for better or worse. Truth be told, For the most part I didn't have great opinions of this person. He did date one of my best friends for a couple of years. He brought honor to our small little school with State Wrestling titles, and our math teacher could always be easily distracted by trying to imitate "the Jackson Bussell" walk. His sister was in my class. I really respected their family. When I got the call today I realized I really had no ill will towards him, I hoped that he wasn't really the bully I saw him to be and how tragic such a young death is. I have thought of his family and "the good ol days" many times and it is just kind of stuck in my head.

My heart hurts for my small little hometown community that has now spread out some but still so close in so many ways. This will effect many and bring many tears.

Rest in Peace, Jackson.