Saturday, October 25, 2008

Metal, Sparkly Things and Memories.

I came across an old memory today. I knew it was there all along, but I rarely open it and always put it to the back of whatever container it is. Pushing it out of my mind, pushing it (subconsciously) out of my life. Its sparkly, shiny, a relic from a past life (or so it seems)

Its a ring. It has a marquise cut diamond centered with baguettes fanning out beside it in a white gold band. Full of broken hopes and dreams, full of broken promises, full of lessons learned, and some good memories added into the mix as well.

It is my (former) engagement ring and I don't have a clue what to do with it.

At first, I didn't want to give it back to him. I was so in love with him, so hurt by some choices he made that I wanted to hold on to what I could. It was like keeping that ring, and holding on tight was a way to keep myself together. It took me weeks to take it off. Finally, I put it in its appointed box and it has remained there ever since. A couple of times in the last couple of years I look at it and feel the pain becoming less and less with every time I open the box. Now I realize that what happened was a good thing. I can open the box without being depressed for hours afterward. Now I just feel sorry for such a sparkly ring. What does one do with this kind of jewelry? It needs a home that will admire it, that will keep it warm, and make someone else smile. It is not something I would every think about wearing again, not even if I were to have it reset. Pawning it is lame. Selling a cursed ring sounds like it wouldn't be such a good idea on Craigslist or Ebay. Should I give it back to him? Should I leave it in its box? Should I give it to someone? Donate it to charity?

I have the good memories left in my heart, and live daily with the lessons I learned. I do not need it as a reminder in anyway shape or form as I have moved on... but I don't know what to do with it.

What would you do?


Chasey said...

I've thrown away rings from the past. It's hard, but it's delightfully freeing. :)

Sarah Hough said...

Oh I don't think you should throw it away, I think donating it to an abused women's helter or somehow turning your negative into somebody elses positive will reap loads of karma for you! Love your blog some good writing there! Sarah

Miracle said...

That was what I starting thinking is if there is someone else that could use it, a charity or someone I could give it to to cause a smile. I am going to keep the thought open in my universe and see what opportunity will present itself :)

I thought many times over of throwing it in my favorite body of water, but then that poor ring will be all alone with the fishes and it wouldn't serve anyone in the process besides me. Though, in my anger phase I thought of many useless things to do with it haha..